Child's Plea
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Parental Response
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Everyone's doing
it/going there.
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Everyone else is not my
responsibility. This is our family and these are our rules. Your
are MY child.
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My friend's
parents let them do it.
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We have set limits because we
love you.
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Trust me!
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I do trust you. . . it's
everyone else I don't trust. I doubt I'd trust myself in that kind of
situation.
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You're SOOOOO
mean. I hate you.
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I'm not mean. I love
you. You'll understand someday.
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It's my life.
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Yes, but I gave it to you and
I want to protect my investment.
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You have no right
to go into my room/things and invade my privacy.
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If you have nothing to hide,
why are you so worried?
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I have to be back
at what time?
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You need to sleep! I
want you safe and it's not safe after . . . (Some states also
have curfew rules for people under 18.)
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You can't tell me
who to date or with whom I can be friends.
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You are, or soon will become,
who you associate with. People choose companions who meet their
needs, and the needs that these people can meet worry me.
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Why not?
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Because I said so. I'm
your parent and I love you.
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This means so
much to me.
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Why does this mean so much to
you?
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I will have no
friends. No one will like me. My life will be ruined!
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What do you want your friends
to like in you? What are you willing to do to have friends?
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You don't even
like me. You must hate me.
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No. On the contrary, I love
you very much and that's why I'm . . .
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I'm not a baby.
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You'll always be my baby.
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You never let me
do anything.
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Let's stick the particulars
of this situation and talk about it. "Never" and "always"
statements don't get us anywhere.
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I can take care
of myself.
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None of us is able to take
care of ourselves when we're in some risky situations. I don't
want you to have to deal with that yet.
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I deserve it.
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If you're feeling
unappreciated, we can talk about that. Allowing you to do
something that I don't approve of or feel is risky or dangerous is not
a reward for good behavior.
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You did . . . at
my age.
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I made mistakes along the
way, and I'd like to help you avoid making the same mistakes.
There were many instances when I wish my parents had been more aware
and more willing to set limits for me.
|
How am I supposed
to learn responsibility if you don't give me any?
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Are you arking for freedom or
responsibility? What sort of responsibility do you want?
Let's talk about that.
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This is why I
don't have any friends.
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Real friends stay friends
even when their friends can't do everything they want.
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I have my own
money.
|
And your point is. . ?
The issue is not about money.
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You don't love me!
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This whole conversation is
because I love you more than anything in the whole world.
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I'm going to be
with my trusted friends.
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No, you aren't, because you
aren't going. Invite your friends here. You know that your
friends are always welcome in our home.
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I'll be studying
till late at ---'s house.
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No, I'd rather that you
invite her here to study with you.
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I do everything
you ask. Please, please, please let me do just this one thing.
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This is not about negotiation
on good behavior. It's about my needing to ensure your safety.
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His parents will
be home. You can call them.
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I will call them, and I'll
want to know that they not only will be home, but that they will be
supervising and not allowing drinking or drug use. And I still
may decide that it's not a good idea for you to go.
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